I loved nature and the imaginative stories my dad would tell me. He’s a medical intuitive, and my mom was a pastel artist. I was raised living a double life- one focused on my friends, getting good grades, playing sports, and fitting into “normal” society, and another, more hidden side of being part of a spiritual community where the focus was on channeled messages from ascended masters from another dimension. While I became quite open-minded from being raised this way, I also developed a sense of perfectionism from all the programming.
While I received a lot growing up, like world travel and an entirely different perspective, what was missing was any sense of emotional awareness - so, like most people, I learned to bottle up and suppress my feelings. This led to a sense of being disconnected from myself and dissociated from my body, which was really confusing.
I found a home by escaping into books and video games. Realizing I didn’t know how to genuinely connect with people, I developed a “mask” self: one that seemed like the real me but was a show I was putting on to be loved and accepted. Behind it, there was a sense of pervasive insecurity and shame that I was carrying around. I became reserved and shy, hesitant to speak up. I remember people often asking me to repeat myself because when I spoke, it was often too quiet.
While I had a few close friends, painful experiences led to me putting more walls around my heart. By the time I got to college (Northeastern University, in Boston), I was ready to go wild - and got blackout drunk pretty often at the beginning! Early on, I met an amazing woman named Tatiana - and I am blessed to say that after years of dating on and off, we are still together and thriving in our relationship.
I chose to work at places that inspired me - the world’s largest startup accelerator (MassChallenge) and a leading-edge community and ideas festival on a mountain in Utah called Summit. Joining global communities of changemakers like Sandbox has been important to me because I desire to create a positive global difference, and when I connect with people with the same intention, I feel fulfilled and inspired. For years, I reveled in being the youngest person in the room, soaking up knowledge and connecting with people who had created impressive things.
About a year after college, I traveled to almost 50 countries, living a nomadic lifestyle. I consistently experienced awe and wonder at all the new experiences I was having. I felt free! This was a phase with many psychedelics and plant medicines, as I found them valuable allies in my truth-seeking quest. I took Iboga, a hardcore plant medicine, in Costa Rica, and it changed my life- so much of my intuitive abilities came online, my heart blasted open, and I felt As I sensed that I didn’t receive a proper initiation into manhood (just like almost everyone in our culture), I was looking for one. Ask and you shall receive!
I had planned to do Iboga, a master plant medicine, in Gabon, Africa where it comes from. I received the initiation I had asked for, yet not in the way I imagined. In Africa, I ended up getting severely ill and had to fly to France. On the plane, I didn’t know if I was going to make it - I wrote a heartfelt letter in case I didn’t. One thing I wrote was “My religion is truth and love.” Now I knew what being on death’s door felt like. I learned that we don’t know how long we have on this planet, so we may as well live and give to our fullest, and not let anything get in the way of that. There’s something about touching death that made me prioritize what’s genuinely important, as I have a clearer sense of how precious our time is here.
I felt the energy there was a hub of everything I was passionate about - conscious people, an entrepreneurial culture, beautiful weather and food, and lots of creative energy.
I noticed my health was in really poor shape, as the many days of antibiotic IVs in the hospital had taken a major toll. My gut health was a wreck, I was ultrasensitive and allergic to many foods, and breaking out all over my body. I felt confused, yet willing to do whatever it took to find a solution. After trying a lot of functional and energy medicine, I repaired my health to a decent level, but all the supplements and treatments only went so far.
In late 2019, my mom had been declining from Alzheimer’s and dementia for over a year. It was unexpected and really hard for everyone in my family. I was lucky enough to see her the night before she passed away. We played her favorite song and while she couldn’t speak to us, she painted an infinity sign in the air, telling us that she has faith in eternal life.
With my mom passing and the collective intensity of Covid starting soon after, I was emotionally overwhelmed. My main method of coping with life - spiritual bypassing - literally had to end. Luckily, I found a powerfully transformational healing experience called “Pointholding” that broke through all my mental walls and barriers and allowed me to TRULY feel again for the first time in what seemed like forever. This was a major turning point in my journey. Genuinely FEELING opened up a whole new way of being for me. Slowly, I got to know my emotions better and had more of a sense of being in my body. I began grieving, and I grieved long and deep, the grieving phase lasting for years.
I went deeper into Pointholding (which used to be called Body Electronics) and was inspired to become a facilitator so I could give this gift to others. At the time, I also trained in transformational coaching, translating messages from our subconscious through body language, and a new type of iridology (which reveals a map of our subconscious feelings and beliefs through the lens of our eye).
I learned about how we can create our reality more consciously. I made distinctions about how we each have a unique greater mission in life, and with the results I experienced within myself and with others, I felt more and more inspired. I felt very grateful for my growth and for what I was learning. I set the intention to become a master facilitator, and I seemed to be attracting modalities that each focused on a different level of the psyche, essentially putting together a puzzle piece by piece that facilitates rapid, profound healing and transformation at every level. Humanity is asking for a rebirth, and I’m here for it.
I brought my new inspiration into online courses, group coaching, and gatherings - it was so beautiful! I loved playing with my new tools and supporting people in their transformation. Around that time, I reconnected with Tatiana, and later on, she moved in with me - which brought a whole new level of awareness to how unaware I still was about myself! Here I was, “thinking” I had it going on when my girlfriend was showing me that really I was out of my body most of the time, stuck in a survival-based fight or flight state, with a fragmented sense of self. While it was hard to look at those aspects of my shadow side, I knew it was a signal to go deeper.
I found IFS (internal family systems), which helps us integrate different parts of ourselves into our wholeness, and immersed myself. I started learning about Pathwork, which is the most profound body of work I’ve ever read. The different lectures address the “big” questions in the most practical, actionable way I had ever come across. At the time, I was reading or listening to over 100 books a year, mostly about spirituality, trying to understand the nature of reality. After that, I ended up having a big coming down-to-earth period, and during that, I discovered many places where I had originally left myself.
All the accumulated stress and trauma I experienced, plus moving into my first house since I was a child, put my nervous system on a hair trigger - I would go into meltdowns easily and my relationship dynamic became toxic. Tatiana and I found ourselves replaying our childhood trauma with each other over and over again. I needed help. I found Family Constellations, which ended up changing my life, and I am currently in a yearlong facilitator training. The magic, potency, depth, and accuracy of the method shook me to the core. Ancestral healing was a major missing piece in the work I was doing.
I also trained in SRT (Somatic Release Technique) and my nervous system started to release many old layers of tension and fight-or-flight patterns. By going into somatic, embodied awareness and exploring our felt physical sensations, we can let go of held trauma and stuck energy. I’m so glad I found that puzzle piece!
And I was excited to start sharing my gifts again through transformational healing retreats with Tatiana. The retreats were quite powerful, yet my astrological “Saturn Return” was starting, and big unexpected challenges arose- in a short amount of time, we had to move out of our idyllic home, and my dad went into a psychotic break, which was traumatic for me. For a while, I felt like I was in hell on the inside. I had major insomnia and was unable to enjoy life. Even though it was painful, I trusted that there was light at the end of the tunnel, and I kept going, using my tools wherever I could.
After some time, I started to recover, and my relationship with my dad did too. I moved back to Austin, and after dealing with mold challenges, my gifts started opening up in a new way. Poetry started coming through me in a beautiful way, and I followed my inspiration to bring my gifts to the world. I let go of many fears, began facilitating again, and found new avenues to share my light. I helped people lead in a new way, start their dream businesses, heal their relationships, let go of old trauma, and activate their true gifts and power. I’m more resilient and confident in myself after passing so many tests of life, and I deeply trust and am humbled by the miracle of love and existence. My aspiration is to be a vessel for my highest self. I’m very grateful for all the mentors and supporters in my life who have played a pivotal role in me being where I am now.
I feel enthusiastic about sharing my message and abilities in service of a new paradigm of life on earth - one that is real, grounded, integrated, loving, aware, and whole. I have a vision for a thriving “Humanity 2.0”, where we are in harmony with our true nature, as we are nature itself. I feel gratitude for the sacred gift of life, and I am determined to be the best version of myself that I can be, supporting our transition into a more beautiful world. I envision myself supporting the current and next generation of leaders, traveling the world and creating life-changing experiences, sharing insightful messages from my heart, and supporting people to discover and express their truest selves.
Some things I love to do other than my main work are: writing, poetry, adventures, ceramics, rowing, archery, learning, watching sci-fi, playing Zelda, circling, men’s groups, and connecting with like-minded people all around the world. All of these bring me joy and help me express, connect, and explore, which is what I really wanted to do as a child!